Another Bird

Those of you who are true fans, know of my encounters with birds of a different kind. Those who aren't, well, you'll just have to search and find. And today, I have another bird encounter to tell.

"What happened now?", you ask.

Let me give you the background. Yesterday, I left playgroup with just enough time to rush to the school to pick up the kids. Just enough, it was perfect. As long as I flew hurried down the roads, and obeyed the school zones, I would arrive just as the bell rang.

So there I am, driving down the road, belting out Daughtry, when what should I see out of the corner of my eye, but a bird. A little red one. And the darn thing was probably out on it's very first flying-learning adventure, because it flew with perfect aim directly into my front end. I heard the expected bump, and after I did a little freak-out-shiver, I glanced in my rear view mirror to see it.

Guess what I saw. Nothing. Yes, absolutely nothing lay in that road, and there is no doubt it hit me. You read that right. I did not hit this bird. It hit me. I swear.

I arrived at the school, about a minute before the bell rang, so I decided I had enough time to check things out. I got out and walked to the front of the van, and all I saw were feathers. No bird. Just beautiful, long, red feathers.

I told Steven he had to check it out because while he may have gotten me to mow and grill burgers and take out trash, I draw the line at dealing with roadkill. I do not have the balls for that job.

So fast forward to today. I drive up to pick the kids up from school, and one of the teachers brought the kids out to the van. There were 2 other teachers who were standing outside, and after teacher 3 was done with us, she walked back to the sidewalk, and all three of them turned to wave bye to the kids.

As they did, they started laughing. By laughing, I mean the double over, pain in your side, pee your pants laughter.

I rolled down my window to "politely" demand to know what was so funny. They asked if I knew I have a bird hanging from under my van.

Apparently, dear ol hubby forgot and left the dear red bird, feathers and all, hanging from my grill. Hanging upside down, and in Jacob's words, "with his eyes open and all! Cool!"

*disgusted sigh*

So I have apparently been parading around my roadkill for the past 24 hours. All the way to the library, to the bank, to the grocery store, to Olive Garden, to Target, to Ashley's dance studio, and home. You'd think I was proud, or something.

Steven came home from work today, and was promptly pointed towards the van to deal with "the issue." He and Jake were pretty impressed by how tightly the bird was stuck. I, of course, was too disgusted to watch them, and was even more disgusted when they came inside a minute later to announce that the bird was "mostly still there."

Unfortunately, when pressed, they informed me that since he was stuck so well, just his head came off, and "it was cool."

So now, I am not just parading a bird around on my van, but a decapitated bird.

I think I have earned the right to say I drive a "ghetto" van.