My family missed me while I was away. At least that's what I tell myself. Forget that Jacob cried when he had to leave Grandma's, Christopher totally ignored me when I walked in the door, and Ashley grew tired of waiting for me to come home and refused to get up the next morning to see me. Even my dear ol husband had a welcome home for me.
I woke up Tuesday morning to find him gone and this lovely little "note" on the fridge. Well, more of a copy of an "OLD magazine article," entitled, "The Good Wife's Guide." I shall now entertain you with a few highlights of what it said to do before he comes home daily.
*Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking.
*Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
*Prepare the children. Minimize all noise.
*Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
*Listen to him. Remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
*Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you.
*Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
*Make him comfortable.
*Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes.
*Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
*Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
*A good wife always knows her place.
Ok, am I the only one slightly offended by this? Honey, this is what I promise as your wife:
1. When you come home, the house will be here.
2. There will be food in the refrigerator. Sometimes it will be cooked, sometimes not. Eat it raw if you don't want to cook.
3. The kids will be alive. If you don't like the noise, buy some earplugs.
4. I will undoubtably question everything you say. Get over it. I also will always have the last word.
5. If I pull your shoes off for you after work, watch out for the steel toe that may accidentally knock you in the head.
6. If you hear my complaints and problems, then your opinion is valued by me. If you don't like it, whine to someone else.
7. I dare you to stay out all night. Don't come home if you do. If you are simply late, the leftovers are in the fridge and the dishes are in the sink for you to do.
8. I promise to be the most interesting wife ever and to always keep you on your toes. Your life will never be boring!!
I Love You babe!
3 comments:
I want to type simply, "No Comment." But I know that you would probably take that the wrong way like you have taken this whole thing the wrong way. So instead I will take the time and type up my thoughts to your blog on this topic. First of all I did not place this artical on the fridge for you to "find" with the intentions of giving you a hint about your homemaking and wivery skills. It was merely on the fridge so that I could share it with you and we could have a laugh together. Secondly you should know that even though sometimes when I come home from work and seek YOU out to tell you hello and give you a kiss and ask how was your day (which I don't recall ever really being asked about my day at all) I do love you and appreciate you very much. I know that you do a variety of things to keep our family happy and taken care of. I am surprised at your taking offense at this because you gotta know that I don't expect anything from you in the way of performing any chores or housekeeping duties. You are a completely grown adult woman, you can obviously make the correct decisions for the well being of our family. So the next time I come home and ask, "what's for dinner?" you must know by now that all that I am really asking is, " hey, what would you like me to cook for dinner since I only have about an hour to prepare this since I just got home from work."
Third of all you are so correct with your comment stating that my life with you will never be boring. I agree. I love you, honey.
Aaaaawwwwwww!!! How sweet is Steven? That was quite funny though!!! I enjoyed it as did Matt!
Hey, I am just glad we are not living in the "Leave it to Beaver" days when a lot of this was truly believed by women to be their place. I don't see how any wife would be happy with her man staying out all night. That could never be good.
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