Table Manners

When I was a kid, my mom was constantly on us about our table manners. Like to the point of nagging all the time. At every meal, we heard, "Get your elbows off the table. Sit on your bottom. Don't put your fingers in your plate. Hold your fork right. Do you need two hands to hold that small piece of bread? Don't chew with your mouth open."

All these are good advice. Because I grew up aware of how I was eating, I became very aware of how other people eat, and frankly, it's disgusting! So I find myself repeating these same nagging lines to my kids. (Although, of course, I am not as bad as my mom was.) And I'm pretty proud of them. They have learned really well, and when a friend of their's comes over to eat, I can usually really see the difference between other kids and mine.

The only real problem I have is burping at the table. They think it's funny. So tonight, when I burped at the table, I was met with a "Go to time out" from by husband!

Guess what I did.

I picked up my water and walked into the bedroom and locked the door! I relaxed on the bed and watched some dude try to decide on which house to buy on HGTV and put a pillow over my head to drown out the banging on the door the kids were doing.

Jacob apparently thought I hit on a great idea, because he didn't waste much time in burping and knocking on the door to be let into my time out. I told him to go find his own corner!

Unfortunately my husband knows how to pick the locks, so it didn't last longer than like five minutes, but oh, what a great five minutes! But Ashley came in and yanked the pillow off my head and gleefully informed me of this:

"Mom, don't you know what happens when you eat a lot of food and then lay down? YOU GET FAT!!!"

Next time, I think I'll not only lock the door, but go out the window too!