Merry Christmas

I can't believe Christmas is just about here. I can't believe I'm sitting here, two days before it with none of our usual traditions done. None. Not one. I haven't baked the cookies, done the gingerbread house, read The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, read from our daily family Christmas book, or even sang a single song with my kids yet. I haven't even finished decorating! Isn't that awful?

I know that many of you have been wondering what's been going on lately. Basically, with Steven in school, the past few months have been...hard. I've been overwhelmed. Busy is one thing, but this is in a completely different category.

I thought things would get better this month, and I'd have a chance to breathe once Steven finished finals. WRONG!! December has been a nightmare. My son (ADHD) had medication issues for like two weeks. And by issues, I mean it didn't work. It was a relatively new med for him, and we thought he was doing wonderfully, but well, he wasn't. So for two weeks he spiraled out of control, and I had to deal with some major stuff. You can throw my birthday right in the middle of all that to help explain why that was so bad. I could go on and on listing all the things that have gone wrong or stressed me out or whatever.

But I won't. What I'm going to do is tell you how grateful I am for my family. I've had to watch a heartbreaking situation unfold this past week, in which a close friend of mine lost her husband. Their boys lost their father. And I'm over here complaining? (lol) My perspective has changed dramatically, and so tonight I'm sitting here with a heart so full of gratitude.

I've been wondering why I can't seem to find the Christmas spirit. I've felt like such a scrooge for having very little done, and being in a bad mood. Tonight I'm realizing that this spirit I'm looking for isn't quite right. I was looking for it in the smells, sights and sounds of a traditional Christmas. The kind you have to work so hard to create. What I've found is that, amidst the sorrow and sadness, is gratefulness, love and peace. This is the Christmas where I could care less about gifts or treats or decorations, and I just want my family close around me, feeling the Savior's love.

I wish I could pass this on to all of you, but I can't even quite find the right words to do it justice. There really is something to the phrase, "Jesus is the reason for the season." So in wishing you all a Merry Christmas, I hope you all bask in the love of your families, hold them very very close and treasure your time.

And, uh, the next time I'm about ready to run away, someone, please, knock me over my head and remind me of this! Because just because I'm feeling this right now, by no means means I'll feel this in a week!